As the world anxiously awaits the hours-long press conference set to take place Sept. 12 at the Steve Jobs Theater, one exciting iPhone-related tidbit appears to have dribbled out ahead of time: One of the colors the new 6.1-Inch iPhone will come in is some form of brown.
That’s right, for those in search of that elusive “Yes, I only text you back while pooping” look, Apple just might have you covered.
This revelation was brought to our attention by Ben Geskin, who often tweets Apple leaks, with several photos allegedly depicting SIM trays from one of the three iPhones expected to be unveiled tomorrow. The colors — at least according to the pics — include space gray, silver, red, blue, and a particularly awful shade of brown.
Now, do we know these pics are 100 percent legit? Nope. But do we believe that Apple would innovate its way right into a mound of shit? You’d better believe it.
This is the company, don’t forget, that both did away with the headphone jack and gave us the Touch Bar.
What would Apple realistically call a brown iPhone?
— Raymond Wong📱💾📼 (@raywongy) September 11, 2018
Of course, even if that is the forthcoming real color, there is no way Apple is going to call it “brown.” As Mashable Senior Tech Reporter Karissa Bell pointed out, the company that successfully rebranded metallic as “Space Gray” will likely go for something a little more sophisticated. Say, for example, “chocolate.”
The best part of a brown iPhone is Apple will probably have some pretentious name for it like “Chocolate” or “Mahogany”
— Karissa Bell (@karissabe) September 11, 2018
Which, well, kind of makes sense. After all, just like real chocolate, the chocolate-colored iPhone probably couldn’t exist without some questionable sourcing of raw materials.
But while the brown (taupe?) pictured above may not be the most visually pleasing of all the iPhone colors, we still give it a full-throated endorsement. Because anything courageous enough to bring us closer to that long-lost Zune atheistic is fine by us.